Working in the Garden

Today was a beautiful day! We worked in the yard together as a family and it looks awesome! My garden is coming along wonderful. Believe it or not Gabe even helped without destroying the plants. He would get down and help pull the weeds...but when he realized that Mom had garden gloves on, and he didn't, he was a little upset. "Where's my gloves" he said. Yea, right, like I could find him gardening gloves for a 2 year old. Joe, Kyler, Colton and Brody helped me tons, they took out the saplings that started taking over my old tree and they cut the grass around it. Next weekend, they are going to bring a truck load of dirt to build them up, so that I can plant flower all around the tree.

I love how it feels after a good day's work out in the yard.

Memorial Day

This years Memorial Weekend was kind of cool and rainy. We decided to stay home and work in the yard, and do stuff around the house. For the most part it was no different than any other weekend. We did take the kids to see 'The Night at the Museum 2' on Saturday afternoon. Cute movie, not as good as the first, but still worth seeing.

Monday we went to visit Mike and Grandma and Grandpa's graves. It just isn't right that Mike is there....still so hard to deal with. We also went to see Tracy and Randy's new home, it is very nice and then we celebrated Kaylee's birthday, a little late but better than never. Kyler and Chad were wrestling or something and Kyler's pants got ripped, so Uncle Dallin found him some that he would wear home. He had to model them, and show everyone how cute he looked in wranglers.

My absence

I know I have not been good on keeping up with my blog, but my goal is that will not happen any more. I have had so many things that have happened that I need to be able to share my life with others. So here it goes

Missing Mike

Well it has been a month from tomorrow that my brother was killed. I can't believe that time has gone by so fast. It seems like forever, and yet again it seems like it was yesterday. The pain has not gone away and it is not getting any easier.

Death is a part of the circle of life, but when you add the sudden unexpectedness to it, and violence...and then the media's insensitivity to reporting the truth...it makes things so much harder. Trust is broken and life never is the same, yet the world around us keeps on moving like nothing ever happened, even when there is such a huge hole left in our hearts and lives.

When tragedies like this happen, you really have to wonder why us?....why Mike?...what are we supposed to learn from something like this. There doesn't seem like there is anything good that can come from our loss and this experience. The one positive thing that seems to have come from losing Mike, is that the rest of us left are mourning together and that my family (brothers, sisters, in-laws, parents, kids etc) are closer than ever. I appreciate them all more and take every moment that I get with them and treasure it. Things are no longer "something I have to do", but now it is something I GET to do. I look forward to seeing them, talking on the phone with them, spending time with all of them....kids and adults. Mike is apart of every conversation, usually good memories...talking about what Mike would be doing if he were here...reaffirming that he IS here with us. He is part of all that we are and all that we HAVE became. I am a different person because of what I have been through and what Mike has taught me.

Someday I hope things get easier, I hope and pray, but as of right now, I am not sure how it will ever get better. I see his boys and they all remind me so much of Mike. They are hurting as bad if not worse, and can only deal with it as children can. I worry so much about them.